these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
