But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
