WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize