I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
