i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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