i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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