my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is the high leading the old right now
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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