My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
