Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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