Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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