Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
