singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
