Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you guys were way drunker than both of me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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