she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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