You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize