You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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