Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
