ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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