Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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