just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
