Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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