remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
