Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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