i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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