MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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