As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
