so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
