hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
