I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
