i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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