They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
