new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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