yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
