You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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