i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
