my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
