guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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