i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize