definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
