Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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