maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
