i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
