where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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