I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
