I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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