Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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