Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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