woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.