she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
