Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am in a vortex of obligation.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
