he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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