hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
