wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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