so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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