Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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