We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
