just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
